Thursday, January 05, 2012

The thoughts that escape me

There are two places in this world where my best ideas always strike: the shower and long car rides. These are also two places where I generally don't have any way to write down my ideas, and before long, another thought has entered my mind and the one before it vanished forever.

Does this happen to you? I was sitting on the couch today struggling to remember an idea I had in the shower yesterday. Then I started wondering how many brilliant (I use the word brilliant loosely) ideas have come and gone without a second thought. How much have I lost because of my awful memory?

Apparently I'm not the only one with this problem.

[SEGUE]

If there's one thing I hate shopping for more than groceries, it's make-up. I hate shopping for make-up. HATE IT. I just can't bring myself to buy expensive make-up because A) I find it ridiculous that a teeny-tiny bottle of foundation or an itsy-bitsy thing of bronzer can cost upwards of $20, probably more for the real "good" stuff. HIGHWAY ROBBERY. B) If I spend that much on make-up, I can promise you that when I get home to use it, nothing will be the right shade for my skin. Even if the "experts" match it for me. NEVER FAILS.

So the other day I found myself at Target in the make-up aisle, searching for mascara out of necessity. My tube was so empty, all that was coming out on the brush were black flakes. Not a good look.

WHY ARE THERE SO MANY TYPES OF MASCARA? Seriously. The make-up industry is ridiculous. There is absolutely NO reason for that many mascaras to exist on the shelves. And who wears blue mascara? Have you ever seen anyone other than Lady Gaga wearing blue mascara? And I can almost 100% guarantee that Lady Gaga will not be perusing the shelves at the Aiken Target.

And who are they trying to fool with all those different brush shapes and curves? Correct me if I'm wrong, but it doesn't make a damn difference! No matter how many different brush shapes I've tried in the past, my eyelashes always end up looking something like this:
When I initially begin the mascara application process, in my head I'm picturing the perfect smokey eye. I get excited with anticipation. "TODAY will be the day I do it right. Today my eyelashes will look longer and fuller and will curve up at the outside. That's what the packaging says will happen!" THEY NEVER LOOK LIKE THIS WHEN I'M DONE:
Have you EVER gotten your eyes to look like that at home, all by yourself? HOW? (let's not talk about her nonexistent eyebrows)

Me shopping for mascara is probably the equivalent of a man shopping for his girlfriend's tampons.
IT JUST DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.

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2 comments

  1. I am so glad I started following your blog, you are too funny! Love your humor! And ditto on the mascara.. I never can get it right either. Oh well, maybe one day.

    xo. A Southern Bee Diary

    :)

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  2. Oh how funny you are with mascara! You remind me of myself! Im in that isle for hours it seems like, and when I decide to leave I am still empty handed!

    -Jessica

    http://hopefullittleone.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete

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