Friday, June 28, 2013

10 things I learned At Mom's



I visited my mom for a sort of extended vacation last month.  Here are some things I learned and re-learned while at her house in Virginia.

ONE
When mom comes to visit you at your house, she works while you sleep. Seriously.  My mom has been known to take my car to get cleaned and have the oil changed before 9:00 AM.  She also dusts and does the dishes like some stealthy, OCD mom fairy. When you visit mom at mom's house, you put your dishes in the dishwasher.  You vacuum for her while she's at work. You have to clean your own room and get your dirty clothes together.  You are basically back in high school.

TWO
Mom still calls you twelve times a day even when you're less than 30 minutes away from her at any given time.  She's bored at work? She calls.  Stuck in traffic? She calls.  On her way to lunch? On her way home?  On her way to the bathroom? She calls.

THREE
Mom still wants to make sure you're fed, preferably 12 meals a day.

FOUR
Mom plans for meals when she goes grocery shopping and wants to know in advance what you might like for dinner.

FIVE
Mom will remind you to do something more than once even when she says she won't.  And if you dare leave something on the stairs for longer than a day you will suffer her wrath, because  YOU'VE WALKED PAST THAT STACK OF STUFF 12 TIMES!

My mother's five-foot-two, and I'll be honest with you - she's the only person I'm scared of. – Kiefer Sutherland

SIX
Mom does laundry on a schedule.  Not just when she runs out of clothes to wear.  This is her strangest habit.

SEVEN
Mom is not afraid to wake you up if you've slept too late.  Come down stairs.  She's bored.

EIGHT
There is literally no limit to the amount of HGTV and Law & Order: SVU to be watched.  NO LIMIT.

NINE
Mom always wants to know what you're doing.  What's so funny? Who are you texting?  What are you Facebooking?  What are you Tweetering about?

TEN
Mom will always really really reeeeeaally love you, even when you sleep too late, don't clean up after yourself, spend too much time on the computer, or act like you don't want to talk when she calls.  She will even take you shopping for things you don't need.  Just because.

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them. – Phyllis Diller

*BONUS* ELEVEN
Mom is great and you love her, too.





**top photo of my mom in the 80's taken by my Dad, bottom photo from circa 2008 before I realized blonde was not my best look.
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