Tuesday, August 15, 2017

How To Pack For a Camping Trip


So you want to go camping? Summer isn’t over yet and there is still plenty of time left to enjoy the hot, muggy Southern Virginia weather. For many, camping is the ideal way to spend time outside without shelling out big bucks on a lavish vacation. If you’re going to pitch a tent for the weekend, here are some tricks and tips to help you make the most of your adventure.
  1. First, make sure to spend a small fortune at the grocery store on food and drinks so you can really enjoy your weekend living like a caveman.
  2. And if you’re over 21, don’t forget the adult beverages. As the great Ron Swanson once said, camping without beer is just sitting in the woods.
  3. And don’t leave out the marshmallows, graham crackers and chocolate for those s’mores you’ll be too lazy to actually make.
  4. Overall, it’s important to purchase items that can be stored in a cooler.  Items like bread and lunch meat taste even better after melted ice leaks into their containers.
  5. When you get home from the store, it’s time to dig out all the camping gear from your horribly unorganized garage.
  6. You’ll definitely need a tarp or two, especially when those predictable summer thunderstorms roll through and catch you completely off guard.
  7. Make sure your pack plenty of twinkle lights.  You’ll want to be able to navigate to your tent after dusk, and this also ensures your campsite is visible from outer space.
  8. Don’t forget your kindling to make fire starting a breeze.  All that useless dryer lint you’ve been hoarding in the laundry room finally has a purpose!
  9. Bug spray is also important, o-zone layer be damned.
  10. Comfort is key when you’re sleeping in the wild, so pack the biggest air mattress money can buy.  Don’t worry about fitting anything else in your tent.  But remember, a four person tent is really only big enough for two American sized people.
  11. You’re also going to want a portable bluetooth speaker so you can play music that is just loud enough to disturb your neighbors and ruin the peace and tranquility of the great outdoors for everyone.
  12. By this point you’ve probably packed so much stuff that you need to take two cars.  This is the most practical and efficient decision.  If you don’t look like a migrant fleeing oppression, you’re doing it wrong.
  13. Make sure you know ahead of time how to activate the hotspot on your phone so you can have Wi-Fi access. Otherwise you might miss out on Donald Trump’s latest tweets.
  14. When you get home, unpack everything to dry it out and leave it spread out in your garage indefinitely. 

Following these simple steps will help ensure your weekend in the woods is a huge success. Have fun!
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