Thursday, December 23, 2010

Playing Dead

A lot of people harbor some confusion when it comes to appropriate times to play dead, so I've compiled a short list of times when I find that playing dead is the best option.

1. When you are being ignored.
- Nobody can ignore a dead body.  Unless your friends and family are the Mob.
2. When you owe somebody money.
- Why should you have to pay up after a lost best?  Who are you really doing any favors by paying your bills on time?  Borrowed money?  I.O.U? Pfffffft.  Being out of debt is for schmucks.  Just ask Obama.
3. When you are asked to judge a "which bullet hurts worst" contest.
-Let's be honest.  This one does not need an explanation.

Wednesday, December 08, 2010


So, I'm moving to Asheville.  I use the term "moving" loosely, it's really more like temporarily relocating since this is only a 4 month deal.

Temporarily relocating is a hassle.  Mainly the finding a place to live part.  This is what I'm looking for:
1bed/1bath apartment in or near downtown, (preferably north or west), fully furnished with a mountain view to die for.  I don't think this is asking too much, especially considering I'm an unemployed college student with no money of my own.  But when you add a budget of $650 per month to these parameters, the only thing a search turns up is a basement studio with no windows, no internet or cable, and three roommates who enjoy composting, playing new-age instruments, and twirling their dreadlocks between their fingers.

This is one of the places I found for considerably under budget:


This is my favorite part:  People with allergies shouldn't even bother. Due to the age of the house, lack of insulation, and the fact that there is a spring under the house, we have a thriving indoor ecosystem complete with slugs, spiders, mold, and other weird things that aren't good for the faint of heart. There aren't any roaches though, and kitty takes care of mice and rats inside.
The alarming part about this is that I'm sure certain people consider a living environment like that to be appealing.  I don't think I'm being picky.

Thursday, December 02, 2010


So, on the heels of my good news from Asheville, I've just been thinking about all the things I'm excited for that are coming up.


1. My last semester in Tallahassee

2. My first Christmas with Mike

3. Mike's first trip to Italy

4. Mike meeting my dad

5. Moving to Asheville

6. Starting my internship with the Magazine



Wednesday, December 01, 2010

Pity Party

The pity party is over.
I got my internship at a Magazine in Asheville and couldn't be more excited. =)


I have one day of class left this semester.  I was thinking about it, and really it's the last class I'll ever attend on FSU's campus.  Next semester I am taking 100% online classes and then, POW, graduation.  Pretty excited about that.
I was at a tailgate for the FSU/UF game this weekend and my mom introduced me to a woman named "Dot."  Her daughter dates a boy who is also in the creative writing program, and she wanted to know if I knew him, because clearly in a school of over 40,000, I must know every single kid in the major.  I don't.  I told her I wasn't familiar with him, and she seemed shocked and dismayed.  I, however, was not.  I'd met Dot at this same tailgate a few games earlier.  She'd asked me the same question and I'd provided the same answer.  I can't really be upset about this.  I don't remember a lot of people that I stumble across.
I didn't get upset until she asked me what I wanted to do once I graduated.  For a moment I didn't answer.  I was distracted by her inch thick makeup and meticulously styled bob.  Oh, Dot.
Now, I think Dot is a friend of one of our close family friends, so I'll try to keep my judgments to myself.
It really just bothers me when people have preconceived notions.  So since I'm about to be a college graduate, I ought to have a 5 year plan from which I should never detour? My mistake.  I thought it was perfectly acceptable to wander aimlessly through my youth.  How dare I not have a clue what I want to be when I "grow up."
I was honest with Dot.  I told her I didn't have a clue, that I might want to go to grad school, and that I ultimately wanted to write a book one day.  Yea, it even sounded lame when I said it out loud.
She stood there with a look that I can only interpret as disgust.

A look similar to this one.
Clearly her daughter, while younger, is far more successful and shows infinitely more potential than I do.  I could see it on her face.  I remember when my mom used to talk about me the same way.
And then I found myself coming up with excuses, almost apologetically, as if this woman's approval mattered somehow.
On a related note, my teacher, who is so liberal it makes me want to vomit, went off on another tangent today how any woman who hopes for a husband and family should write herself off as a failure.
Don't really have a reason for the mood of this post.  I just think I need to complain sometimes, maybe a lot of times.  It's my blog and I'll whine if I want to.
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